Monday, March 27, 2006

Additional note to the man sent to spy on the Free Winkie Committee: contrary to your March 24 comment, we know your name is not “Laszlo Hirsuty” but Bob Chase, and though you may indeed be a student in the university’s gender studies program, you are also an employee of the FBI. Bao found this information in your wallet—the circumstances of which prompted her to make the following statement:

“While it is true that I slept with Bob over the weekend, it is not true that I betrayed either our cause or my own principles (as some FWC members have charged). As for our cause, I obtained valuable information about Bob (see above). As for my principles: though I admit that I gave into Bob’s advances in a moment of weakness (He whispered, ‘Your name means “bun”’), I reserve the right to give in to my own weakness if I like. And though I AM a committed lesbian, in this case the experiment had less to do with Bob’s gender than with his status as an officer of the law. In short, I wanted to "do" a cop. That is my right. Free Winkie!”

P.S. The FWC wishes to reiterate that we make no judgment on Bob’s hairy back or his right to attend our meetings. Winkie him/herself has a hairy back, as his/her detractors have often pointed out (as if this were a point of shame). We also welcome both vegans and meat eaters to our meetings, though not bear hunters.


Blogger tree said...

Right on! Sisters have the right to gather information whenever we want, wherever we want! If dogs run free, why can't we?
And by the way, don't bogart that FBI agent. What does sex have to do with politics, anyway, man?

But still, don't eat meat.

And Free Winkie!

March 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, tree, I'm not an FBI agent, but I spend a fair amount of time on your campus, just hanging around, meeting new people, getting a fresh perspective on life. You sound like you'd be fun to get to know. We might disagree about our politics. (A real man can't live without meat. And don't knock the FBI. They've been saving our bacon since Al Capone.) But a man and a woman have a lot more to talk about than wheatgrass and politics, don't you agree?

What are you wearing?

March 30, 2006  

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